[Penny for my thought ]

[Saturday, November 09, 2002]

blogger!!!
today i ran for the first time. i got running shoes last night at the mall and i saw the santa clause 2. it wasnt that good. i got a part in the play, im phil maker the film maker whos the victim of the attempted murder. its goin be great. Galbo got the part of the detective, which was probably for the better. so anyway i ran down to big island and back up, its 2.2 miles there and back, i did it in 12:35 so that means i ran a mile in 6:17.5. not bad, in gym last year i ran a mile in 7:01. im all excited to do this now, its going to be crazy. today is the 1st annual steve-kicks-janes-ass-in-street-fighter-a-thon. its a foregone conclusion. zangeif will emerge victorious. ill let you know how it goes later.

any moron can
write haiku. just stop at the
seventeenth syllab.

----me
[Posted by Stephen] at 9:49 AM

boogers,
i mean blogger :-P. today was auditions for the play. after school my dearest carolyn and i hung out in mr rivas' room with a few freshmen and walter and talked about how stupid mrs cully is.....she is soooo incredibly stupid. so after that we went on down to the hallway to wait for....(insert dramatic music here) the auditions. i dont think i got the part for dan chicalattagoo like i wanted, but he liked my confucius preformance and my evil one too...holler back young one. so i made some new friends too ^_^. lol dale thinks im the horniest person in the world. its crazy. i taught the spanish class today. nobody has a fucking clue. im still in love, incase anyone was doubting it. today carolyn was really flirty with me and it was kinda awkward cuz im flirty too so...yeah. i cant wait till saturday, its going to be one hell of a kick-janes-arse-in-street-fighter-a-thon hehe. i love her too, shes awesome. so is tim. hes cool. i hope i get the part *crosses fingers* till tomorrow...

walk away me boy, walk away me boy
and by morning we'll be free
wipe the golden tear from your mother dear
and raise whats left of the flag for me

------me
[Posted by Stephen] at 8:57 PM

blogger---
amy read the blog...this brings my total audience up to 3 people ^_^ i love her so much, shes the best friend ive ever had. today i had to stay after for gym makeups, yay. so i walked around with lendl and cj and dale and her twin (her name escapes me)...ah yes hannah because its the same fowards and backwards. they are very cool. cj came back from his super secret spy mission. i wish i could have gone on it it sounded so incredibly cool. so tomorrow is the auditions for the play, they were today also but there ere a million whiny freshman so i was like ehhh forget it ill come back tomorrow. tim o'donnel is very cool....he knew who green lantern was haha. and he said he has a part for me in mind. ireally wanna be dan chicalattagoo. it sounds like a latte but i only drink gin. yeah, if i dont get that part im probably going to do track. i'll probably still help out with the play and do stage crew and what not, maybe help with the jokes (assuming im funny this time around) i need to make like 5,000 cd's for people and i feel really bad because my computer is soooo bad i can make one cd per like 2 hours with the time it takes. so i need to make the get up kids for danielle on a wire for me and her, and something to write home about for her and me because mine is all skippy now :-( i need to make a cd for allison the second listener supported disc for cj, and a few more i cant remember. im so in love right now i cant stop it. i really need to do something about it too. mallory has a twin...how freakin cool is that. that means theres like...2 mallorys out there. the end

in the midnite hour i can feel your power
just like a prayer you know i'll take you there

------me
[Posted by Stephen] at 8:23 PM

Dreamy935: i read your journal..and about last year..i was telling the truth..maybe i dont feel the same now because it ended when i got back from lbi and now i'm going out with nic and i really like him..just wanted you to know that i once liked you..because your an awesome person ..i just hope that everything workd out with whoever you like..with jenny who you would rather think was dead..i'll go into my forest tonight and just sit, well not just sit there, but think about things, if it makes you feel any better, i dont know it just sounds like oyur confused and if not confused then something else, but i know what it's like, and i'm an idiot..and i'll talk to you later

today seems somewhat brighter. i think ill go back to writing my own way.
until we meet again,

---Stephen
[Posted by Stephen] at 10:33 AM

Good evening blogger,
i just found out that tomorrow i have no school because its election day. this is pretty cool cuz im very backed up on earth science work and i need to get it done. i also want to finish my book and write the report on it. im currently reading Rath and Storm its a Magic: The Gathering anthology edited by Peter Archer (and here i am advertising it) but its really very good. it wasnt as good as The Brothers War but its close. each chapter is written by a different author and from a different charachters point of view and one chapter is written from the point of view of the Weatherlight, the ship.

my search for the perfect girl had ended and a new search has begun. just for someone i can bare to be around. someone who just clicks. that will be cool. i was talking to danielle #1 before, and she said she had a crush on me last year. i dont know if she was telling the truth. i told her i had a crush on her last year. i dont know if i was telling the truth.

today my head is a little more organized, and i figured since i know i have at least one loyal reader (i love you jane) i might as well make it easier to read by organizing my thoughts somewhat. it will also "improve my writing skills and further me as a person" or some bogusness.

im going to learn to play the piano. i never got karate or piano lessons or boy scouts as a kid so im going to do at least one of them now, and piano is the most appealing i think. karate would be kinda embarrasing. and boy scouts would be a little odd considering the computer savvy times we've entered.

tomorrow im going to do my earth science work, finish my book, and learn In My Eyes because its bugging me that i know not the stum patters for the song and i want to play it dammit.

i suggest we learn to love ourselves before its made illigal

--me
[Posted by Stephen] at 8:51 PM

Blogger,
I skipped a day in writing...im sorry jane. my one loyal fan. so friday i bitched on about god and shit but today you get to read about me bitching about people. i gave up on religion totally. i really need to get out of the house more. all i do is sit around and think and thinking isnt any good for me, especially when i think about thinking. as redundant as that sounds its true. i sit and i think and i brood and i ponder and i listen to music and i hate the music and i play music and i hate the music. today i came to the realization that there are so many people in this world, in my life that i call "friends" but are really just people who are constantly around me. i cant talk to them, i cant relate to them except for school related things, and i cant talk to them about anything ever. granted, they try to be my friends and i like that i guess but it just seems that some people are just........there. not to name any names but people like jeff. i have nothing at all against the kid, i really like him. but it just seems like i can never talk to him ever. we say hey ocasionally but its never anything more than that. its always just eye contact and akward silence. its like this with alot of people, and i hate it. its like i either want to know them or not know them. i think its just my total inability to make and keep friends for whatever reason or another. half the time its not because i dont like a person but because i really do. someone whos so like me and totally compatible is just so foreign i cant bare to be with them. its like every kid wishes for a twin or someone to play with id be better off alone i think. this brings me to my next problem with people is with "relationships" i just cant comit to liking someone, i cant do it. i wish i could be like everyone else and have a normal relationship with someone but i always barf right in the middle of it. last night i almost told her i like dher but to no avail. i bet she knows but isnt saying anything. it wont be the first time. today my fortune cookie was "your clear concience allows you to sleep well" this is true...i havent had a dream in a year. thats another thing i dont get, why dont i ever have dreams? do i have no imagination? or no subconcious activity past everyday conciousness? is it because i keep nothing inside, i dont keep secrets, i dont lie, i never shirk from consequence? i dont know. when i do have dreams theyre usually quite traumatic. the last dream i had was back the night before 9 11. i dreamed that terrorists invaded the school and i was running out of the building through the cafeteria, and i look down the stairwell and amy is sittin there and i run down to get her and i get shot like a million times and shes just sittin there cryin and i wake up screaming thinking im dying or something. its always dead silent in the middle of the night. that night i went outside and walked into the middle of the feild behind my house and just sat. theres just nothing. in addition to my wish of living forever i want to not have to sleep. i want to have the night to myself. when amy was nocturnal last year she told me it was great and i believe her, its crazy how quiet it is, how serene. a few times now ive just gone down to the bench by the creek and just sat and looked around. all in the middle of the night. this entry is getting lengthy, and janes the only one goin read it anyway so ill just end it here. i have a feeling tonight is going to be another creek night.

my heart is in my hands

--me
[Posted by Stephen] at 8:52 PM