[Penny for my thought ]

[Thursday, December 19, 2002]

blogger,
so i have 75 aquantances and 2 friends. im not going to semi. amy left a message said were notgoing to see dave matthews tomorrow, we *might* go saturday :-\ if we dont go im going to cry. and just in case you were wondering, im not going to be smoking pot over the break, but on the day after christmas i have to have sergery and the pain medication i'll be taking for the following three days has a high amount of codene in it, which is whats in pot that makes you high. katie hart invited me to her new years eve party, i felt all cool till my mom was like "hell no...your staying home" yeah i'm through being cool. even though i can, i dont think i'm gunna go to the track meet tomorrow. i dont want to. i had everything planned out, and now its changed but i cant go to it. my heel stopped hurting, but now the side of my hip hurts like all get out. i dont get it. i can never have nothing wrong with me. ever. i cant remember the last time i was in perfect health. this ras is driving me crazy, its itchy 24/7 and no lotion i pu ton i is helping, not even the prescription elocon i got last week .yeah i'm going to have had every disease known to man by the time i'm 20. i dont know where im going in life. according to my guidence counselor, i should lock myself away from people and solve every math quation ever invented, in otherwords become a "scientist" the term is so broad....its what everyone is whos smart enough to do anything but still not smart enough to know what they should do. i feel like calvin in my buddy icon...bored. i dont want to go on anymore. i give up. you win.

if i die in my sleep, i hope i wake up happy.

yeah i made that one up^^

---me
[Posted by Stephen] at 8:48 PM

blogger
so i didnt buy a semi ticket. thats the end of that. it was cool when i thought it would work. i saw lord of the rings today. it ruled. im definately going to see it like 3 more times cuz it ruled. yeah thats all i have to say, cuz i have a shit load of homework to do right now so i'll write more tomorrow.

i can't live another day
without seeing you smile

---me
[Posted by Stephen] at 9:54 PM

Good evening blog,
i'm not in a very healthy state of mind right now. i went to track today and i totally had more energy after wards than i did before it. i had ADD throughout drama and i think i pissed everyone off. go me. i came to the realization today that i'm ugly, i have too much hair, and im a spaz beyond spaz. and also that every single girl i could envision myself even liking in the slightest bit it already going out with someone and stuff....yeah. i play pokemon in math class, how appealing is that? so as of right now im not going to the semi formal because i'll be a wheel no matter how i go about it. people are stupid selfish and horny, thats all i can count on them for anymore, and i'm no better. i need to get away. i'm looking foward to christmas break, i'll be alone and it will be quiet and i'll be high for most of it. dave matthews on friday :-) i'm so happy. i got my PLAN test results back today, and they said im not a people person, and i'm going to work in a secluded lab somewhere deep beneath the rockies. how ironic. i'm going to spend the rest of my life doing math problems because they workout like i want them to, unlike anything else in the world. blaaaah im definately going to run away to switzerland one of these days. it's better there, i know it.

while to live is to learn,
to think for yourself,
and i'll do just that,
i dont need your help

---me

[Posted by Stephen] at 10:08 PM