[Penny for my thought ]

[Saturday, May 17, 2003]

Blogger,
So I didn't audition for Fiddler today, my dad was all like "I don't want you to." so i couldn't. We went out to breakfast, and i saw Joseph, and then when he was done workin, we went to the mall. Stupid bitch nazi condom finger lady wouldn't let me into the matrix. my dad was all like "No, seriously, he's 17, it's ok" and she was like "My fingers ejaculate." stupid bitch. So we went to see X-Men 2...again. It was good. I bought Gungrave, and I'm excited to play it. Tomorrow, if Joey's room is cleaned, we're going to teach him to play Yu-gi-oh, and Magic. Spreading the nerd love. Peace out for now Blogger

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 9:45 PM

Blogger,
I have no desire to write right now. Today was good, we had mass, I got the science award for being a genius, tomorrow is auditions and I get to see Kerry. Good night.

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 10:51 PM

Blogger,
Today was so rushed and stressful I think. I went to the yearbook thingy in Saddle River with Mrs. Bucala, Jess Roberts, Mallory, and Jeff Schmitt. We're using my idea for the cover for next year's yearbook, I was so excited. It looks so good, oh man. So we got back to school at like 1:00, and we ate lunch in the art room. mallory and I took our good sweet time going to class. Then that was the end of the day. After school there was a drama meeting, then i traded for Gaia the Dragon Champion from a kid at chess club, and gave it to kevin...now he "owes" me...heh...heh...heh. So after writing my entire term paper, I have no motivation to drag this entry out.

Mood: happy
Music: Del Amitri - Roll to Me

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 8:16 PM

Blogger,
Bad day, bad day, bad day. Kerry and I had our "first fight" I guess. We're ok now though. We lost our last tennis match of the season; Sean and i played first doubles and lost 0-6, 2-6. We lost the match 1-6. I came home, and Amy yelled at me. She's really what ruined my day totally. If Amy is mad at me, I'm done. I hate when she's mad at me. blah. I really don't have anything i want to write down right now.

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 8:24 PM

Blogger,
Pretty good day so far, school was pretty uneventful. i stayed after for chess club and i finally got to play Eric in Yu-Gi-Oh. I stupidly played him with not not-quite-ready gravity bind deck. Boo! So naturally, I lost. I redid the deck tho, and i decided that the only good gravity bind strategy is with Jinzo #7's and Lehgul's and whatever. Amazon Archer is too slow, and Toon World is stupid in that deck, as i saw today. I'm jealous of how good Eric's cards are. He has Snatch Steal, 2 Horn of Heaven's, the UR Magic Jammer and Seven Tools of the Bandit. Bastard!!!!! So anyway, my new goal is to beat him, whatever it takes. It might require a jinzo, however...
---
I came home to find out that my ass hole brother and his ass hole friends decided to prank call 911, and three squad cars came to the house. Yeah, police men busted down the door. Wow, just when i think Kevin can't get any dumber...he goes and does something like this. Ass hole.

Mood: Sniffly
Music: Jimmy Eat World - Hear You Me

---me
[Posted by Stephen] at 7:34 PM

Blogger,
i'm so incredibly pissed off right now. I know I'm usually the ray of sunshine, but I'm entitled to my occasional bad day so back the fuck off. I guess I'll start at the beginning...
---
This morning i woke up late, but it wasn't so bad. I didn't eat breakfast, and i was starving by the time i got to school. I had a dream about Kerry last night, so naturally, i missed her so much when i woke up. She said she was gonig to come see me in the big Room in the morning, but she didn't, let down #1. Carolyn got all mad at me for calling her and Joe rabbits. Bah. I Had religion first, which is never fun. The day went by so fast, and I just wanted to go home. i was SO hoping for rain, I really didn't want to play tennis this afternoon, but all day it just got windier and cloudy. Lunch was kind of awkward, Carolyn just wanted to talk about saturday and the movie, but i feel really weird talking about Kerry in front of Melissa. She seemed kind of irritated at us for talking about it, so i ducked out and changed the subject.
---
After school, I drove around with Sean and Brendon, we went to BK and Stewarts and stuff, then finally ended up at Orange Hollow. It was drizzling, but they didn't cancel the match. So Sean and I had to win this match to Qualify for counties, but we lost. Stupid Ellenville uncle-fuckers beat us 4-6, 2-6. i was mad. I was so tempted to just sock one of those kids right in the face with my raquet, but I didn't. Instead i stole one of their sweatshirts. Stupid uncle-fuckers. So after the match i was really tempted to ask Sean for a Cig, but i didn't. I just couldn't. I'd be too dissappointed in myself later. So yeah, I'm pretty mad right now, as of today I can no longer qualify for counties this year. I can't believe it, Jimmy and Adrian made it. Shit. I hate tennis, I don't know why i even play.
---
Now for my deep thoughts of the day...
Today during religion i finished reading "Go Ask Alice." It was so horrible, i couldn't believe it. I cannot imagine that happening to anyone. In case you haven't read it, here's a quick summary. Its a diary of an anonymous girl, and about how she moves to a new town, gets in with the druggies, and goes off on her own a few times, goes on a bad trip, and winds up in a mental institution. the really horrible part about all of it was that she was very sane, probably more insightful than she knew, or anyone else knew. At the end of the book, It's the end of her diary. In her last entry, she writes about how great everything was in her life, she'd finally come home, her family had accepted her back with open arms, she had a boyfriend who was a straight arrow on his way to medical school, everything was great. Her last entry she writes about how she's at the end of the diary and how she's not going to start a new one because she feels she's beyond that, and she doesn't need to write anymore. On the next page, there's an Epilogue written by the editor. The girl was found dead in her room 3 weeks later. She had died of an intentional drug overdose. When i read that i couldn't believe it. I was so angry and surprised and everything al lat once. It just boggles my mind as to how someone could ever do something like that. I really don't get it. The thing that really got me though, was that all the while I'm reading this book, I'm reminded of someone I know in real life who's just like the girl in the book. I'm not going to say who, but it just got me really worried. I just hope she wouldn't go and do something like that. I don't know if i could take it, if one of my friends would go and OD intentionally, of kill themselves in any manner. Thats the worst thing i can ever think of, taking your own life. Sort of like the ultimate shame. I do'nt know how anyone could get into the circumstance where taking their own life is the only option. I just don't understand people...
---
So, in retrospect today was not a completely wasted day, it was another one of those days where i just kind of chilled inside my head and thought alot. If that book was written to change someone's life, it's changed mine. I know I'm usually the ray of sunshine, but im a careless person. I need to not take things for granted, and appreciate what i have. Kerry is probably the best thing i've ever had going for me, and I don't want to let this go. So here ends today's entry. I haven't written anything meaningful in the Blogger in such a long time; it was good to finally get to say what I'm thinking. i've also had a secret goal of using a semicolon a day. holler. So I'd say i'm in a better mood now that i got all that out. Writing really does help me alot, I don't think i'm going to let it go for a long long time.

Mood: Thoughtful
Music: Foo Fighters - Everlong

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 8:54 PM

Blogger,
In case i haven't mentioned it before, I'm going to try to start typing with proper grammar and spelling and sheezy. So today was alright i guess; it was a pretty gloomy day out. Dad and i went to the mall to get some stuff. I got a review book for the math regents, because i think I'm going to fail it this year. I also got a book on learning JavaScript. Yeah, I'm going to be a webmaster before you know it. Mom was in a bad mood today, I wanted to go play tennis but she was like "no". I miss Kerry. I'm anxious to get to school tomorrow so i can see her for 5 seconds. 'Tis a tragic relationship we lead. Joseph Casabona owns my info. I want to go to bed now, i did a math regents and wrote some of my term paper. I'm so done for today. Good night.
---
Cprompt JoeSN: smashing rhino rolling headbut!
Just S p a c e: volcano incinerates feildmouse!
Cprompt JoeSN: haha
Just S p a c e: i love hack fu
Cprompt JoeSN: i usd the rhino one on fil
Just S p a c e: hahahaha
Just S p a c e: you headbutted him?
Cprompt JoeSN: i killed him
Cprompt JoeSN: yeah in the sternum

---me
[Posted by Stephen] at 8:50 PM