[Penny for my thought ]

[Saturday, August 16, 2003]

Blogger,
Today was a fairly decent day. I read my book all morning, and I finally finished the quotes portion of "Tooth and Nail." Now all I have to do is the essays for all three books. Bah. Tonight mom took me to one of her "hangouts." We saw the band called "The Blitz" at Buckalews. They were pretty good, they did some good Hendrix covers, but they did some bad songs too, like they killed One Last Breath, and Neon, but they did Santeria real good. Tomorrow we're going surfing. Wish me luck. Last time I tried that, I spent two weeks in the hospital with some kid's teeth in my knee. Good night.

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 12:15 AM

Blogger,
Today was a chill to the max day. I sat around the house all day. I watched "Spirited Away." It wasn't really that good, just kinda stupid and more for little kids. Also, I'm really creeped out today because I had another premonition last night. Last night I was thinking about how on the AIM buddy list theres a little design in the background, but you can't see it because there are the names of the people signed on in the way of it. So I figured the only way I'd see it would be if everyone was signed off or something, and the only way everyone would be signed off would be a massive power outage. Voila, at 3:00, power started going out all across the northeast USA and Canada. Turns out lightning struck a power station in Toronto and knocked out power all over the northeast. They're slowly getting back power now, but I still can't help but wonder if theres something more going on here. I don't know, but if I'm really psychic or whatever, I'm thinking really hard about winning the lottery right now. Also, I need to decide if I should use my powers for good...or for awesome. I'm leaning towards awesome.

Sleep, my friend, and you will see
That dream is my reality
They keep me locked up in this cage
Can't they see it's why my brain says Rage.

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 9:55 PM

Blogger,
Sorry I didn't write last night, I didn't get home until 12:30, and Kevin was already sleeping. Yesterday I slept until 10:30 as usual, lounged around until 1:00, then called Krista. We went to the beach and looked for shells. Afterward, we went in the hot tub at their condo, then in the pool. When we were prunes, we went to get fudge and chicken. Mmm fudge...*drool*. I played Yu-gi-oh with Jake and Andrew like the cool kid I am. Later, we watched chic movies, because I'm such a giddy little girl. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and The Sweetest Thing; they weren't that bad actually. No, I didn't cry. Happy belated whole birthday to Catherine Brigid Phelan Gallagher. Today is also my half-birthday.

Mood: Content.
Music: Rufio - White Lights.

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 10:58 AM

Blogger,
I woke up early this morning. First time in a long while I got up before 9:00. Cassie called me for tech support. Joseph Casabona eat your heart out. Actually, don't, you might need that...you know...to live. So anyway, I went to the beach with Christine and Christen, got lunch, came home, and here I sit. I watched the last of the Kenshin episodes just now, so the only cartoon I have left is the movie "The End of Evangelion." I'm not going to watch it yet though. I'm on the phone with Ashley right now. I'll write later.

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 10:15 PM

Blogger,
Words cannot express the hatred I feel for this woman right now. Today I played tennis with Mrs. gordon, Patrick, Tim, and Mrs. Witterschein and her friend. When I came home Krista and her friend Kristen were there and we hung out till around 11:00, when I walked them home. I got home at around 11:30, and my mother is sitting on the couch with some...guy. I was so pissed. He was even playing my guitar, Jerry. Poor Jerry. Nobody is supposed to touch him except me. Now the inside smells like cigarettes, because they were fucking chainsmoking in the house. Morons. I have like 10 lighters all hidden in my room, but its not stopping her. I can't believe it. So I'm like mondo pissed off at her right now. I'm going to sleep right now. I am so mad. Erg.

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 12:36 AM

Blogger,
Today was by far the worst day ever. I'm very convinced that if there is a god out there somewhere, he;s having a damn good time mocking me, and I swear if I ever meet him, I'm going to kick his ass. Last night I figured my mother was the source of all my displeasures, but today I came to the ironic conclusion that its not her, but in fact, my own ignorance and over-inflated ego that creates the unrest that so frequently arises in my life. Lets first begin with the tale of last night, for that's what set the stage for the horrors of today. Last night at about 9:30 Krista called, and wanted to meet up, so I started walking to meet her. As soon as I see her, it starts torrential raining. So we went splashing through puddles and everything all good fun. I get home, and realize that I had my cell phone in my pocket, and on multiple occasions, it was completely submerged in water. Yeah, never do that. So I got home at like 12:00, after stopping in at the Gordons to see Christine, and I can't stand up. I ran home in sandals to beat my mother home, because I wasn't supposed to go out. I think I pulled a muscle in the arch of my foot. This morning I was awakened by the ringing of the phone. It was Christine, and she wanted to meet up, so I started walking towards her house. Bad idea. Every step felt like walking on a dagger. They would end up walking the wrong way, so I walked all that way for nothing. I painfully trodded back home, she called, said they were going out to breakfast/lunch, and I went too. We went to Morrison's, then got ice cream, went back to my house, then went to the beach. We just sat on towels talking, and me, being the complete jerk that I am, manage to hit christine in her newly pierced cartilage ear, which completely pisses her off. She stormed off, and I went after her, but she was already at the house, and left with Christen. I ran home barefoot, and now I have these horrible burns on my feet on top of the strained muscle. I'm not going to be able to walk for a week. Bah. My left foot feels better already, 6 hours later, but my right foot is throbbing and hot as hell. Bah. I wish I could just fast foward to next week. Oh yeah, that reminds me. Amy called this afternoon after I got burned, and I was so happy. The only problem was, it was all bad news. The schedule for next year is so gay its not even funny. She also could only talk for like three minuites. I took a two hour nap, woke up and ate, got critisized by my mother before she went out drinking, and then just gave up. I watched Kenshin for like two hours, and he was in a tight spot, so I called it quits. Amaksa Shougo blinded him with the rai ryu sen, and now he's challenged him to another duel. At that point, I called Melissa, in hopes of raising my spirits a little bit, but she could only talk for like five minuites. So I finished watching the segment of Kenshin. He used the Amakakeru Ryu No Hirameki to defeat Shougo's Amakakeru Ryu No Hirameki; they were both using the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu. Bah. I'm so mad at myself right now. So much lately I've thought about suicide, and how disgraceful it is and how I wish there was another way out. I can't stress enough to you how meaningless my life has become. I haven't accomplished anything in so long. I've even given up practically every hobby I have. The only thing I've kept up with is keeping this journal to myself, why I don't really know. Its not like anyone is going to read it and say "Wow, this sure was an amazing person. Lets study his life." So I really am struggling to find my self worth, I suppose. I still wish I was born in 19th century Japan, and could have become a samurai. I'm really sad that theres no use for skill sword in this day and age. I think that would be my ideal career: swordsman. I've written too much. So, now with a deep sigh of dissappointment, I bid you all adieu and good night, for I can take no more.

"You can always die. It's living that takes real courage. Nothing is stronger than the will to live. Nothing."
-Kenshin Himoura

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 11:42 PM