[Penny for my thought ]

[Saturday, October 18, 2003]

Blogger,
Work wasn't so bad today, nobody really came in. Amy came over when I got home and we went to BK. I'm going to bed now because I'm really tired and I don't feel good again. I have to work again tomorrow morning.

Mood: Depressed.
Music: Josh Joplin Group - Camera One

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 9:31 PM

Blogger,
I've had a bad headache all day. School sucked today, but I just kept smiling. I'd like to think that it helped, but I still feel like crap. I was totally ignored by people today, and it hurt deep down inside. Today Meghan made me very happy though. She looked at me, and then she hugged me. Hugged as in made voluntary physical contact. I was extatic. So I'm not going bowling tonight with Amy because she's a big loser and didn't want to go. I watched Holes with Kevin and Ryan. I'm so bored tonight, I really wanted to go bowling. I'm going to make some more Magic cards and then go to bed. I have to work from 9-4 tomorrow. Ugh.

Mood: Blah.
Music: Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 8:07 PM

Blogger,
I had "In the End" playing in my head all day today. I can't finish anything I start, and when I do it just seems so pointless. There needs to be more time in the day. I've just been in a daze lately, and I haven't been getting anything done at all. It seriously took me all afternoon to do my religion homework. I kept getting distracted by anything that moves. Meghan wouldn't talk to me again today. I don't understand her. I didn't get to talk to Melissa either. I realized this morning that I have no social skills to speak of. We had to write a story in english today, and I made up some thing about a magic sword and I thought it was all clever and then I was like "shit, Soul Calibur." but I handed it in anyway. She won't know, so I don't care. I'm not tired and its 10:00. This is really weird. I think i'm just going to make some more Magic cards with the card maker Dan gave me. Kerry asked me to go to the prom with her. I think that's really cool. It means alot to me. Then again, maybe it is time for Steve to go off into dream land...


Mood: Dazed.
Music: Smile Empty Soul - Bottom Of a Bottle.

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 10:07 PM

Blogger,
I'm depressed as usual. Thats really all that went on today.

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 7:35 PM

Blogger,
I thought today was going to be an awesomely good day, but I was mistaken. Everytime I try to let out my feelings, they seem to get shoved right back down my throat. I just got off the phone with Carolyn, and she decided that I just need to sit her down and talk to her. I don't know when I'm going to do this, but I now know I have to. I'm in such a depressy mood tonight, and now I'm going to watch One Tree Hill. I probably shouldn't be watching these emo shows, but I don't care. Good night

Mood: Depressed.
Music: Cake - Daria.

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 8:51 PM

Blogger,
I'm very flustered right now. I just realized how much homework I really did have. I'm just giving up and not doing it. Today started off just fine, but as usual it began to spiral downward at about 5:00. This morning I actually got to sleep late. Joey came over with Mikey, and John Parkinson and Dan Enders came over too. We played a lot of Magic. I got another Forgotten Ancient from Mikey. As usual, I trounced everyone. John had never before been trounced, so it was a first for him. He was royally trounced. In the words of Valmont, he was "throttled famously." So they all left at around 4:30, and everything was good. I cleaned up all the shit all over the place we messed up in our pizza-eating. While I was doing this, Michele shows up unannounced. I made a hasty retreat to my room to do homework, and she says something that makes Kevin flip out, and leaves. So he's all crying and whatnot, she's gone, and I'm mad now. She's rediculous, seriously. I think I'm just going to go to sleep now. I give up for today. On another note, according to meghan that poem is from The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chobsky. I feel like the Poem Kid right about now.

Mood: Ugh.
Music: Saves the Day - This Is Not An Exit.

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 6:40 PM

Blogger,
I saw this once before on a website and I stupidly forgot where it was, and now thanks to Meghan's Blurty, I've found it again. If you know who wrote it, please tell me so I can credit them.

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year that Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
because that aws the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.

So the Hooters expidition has come to a close. I hope there isn't drama (lunch table) on Tuesday. I got quite a few comments on it, such as this one:

cHIPper GRIPper: why would you go to hooters w/ girls?
cHIPper GRIPper: you freak
cHIPper GRIPper: that's not how it goes!!!
cHIPper GRIPper: it's supposed to be a manly bonding experience
cHIPper GRIPper: not a field trip with a bunch of lesbians


But it was really fun, so I didn't mind. Today was another story. I didn't go to bed until like 1:30 last night, and I had to wake up to go to work at 9:00. I only worked until 2:00 though, so it wasn't too bad; but I'm still really tired. I'm not good at staying up late. I was so out of it last night and so was Melissa. Anyway, I'm supposed to be going to The Conor's but I can't. Dad said it was ok, but then he was like "Well, I can't drive you of pick you up." and now he's like "You can't go because you're brother will be home alone tomorrow." So I can't go. Bah. I always feel bad when I can't do something I said I could. This is one of those cases. I always feel like I let Tim down: during the murder mystery when I didn't know my lines, when I didn't know my lines, and that other time when I didn't know my lines. I should really get back to doing all that Homework I have. I didn't realize how much there really was. the anatomy chapter I have to outline is like 25 pages of text. Seriously, this is the longest and most complicated chapter ever. Its about the entire skeletal system. Also, I have to do a DBQ for History, and as you all know, I suck at all things history and it's going to take me forever to do it. Later folks.

Mood: Tired
Music: Green Day - Time of Your Life

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 5:09 PM

Blogger,
Well I just got back from one of the most interesting expeditions to north Jersey. We went to Hooters for Hannah and Dale's birthday. I don't know why a group of 7 teenage girls wanted to go to Hooters, but I'm not complaining. It was a very memerable night, to say the least. "Hoes", "Oh wow! It makes my boobs look like they have boobs!", Driving in circles, "I thought I heard negro!", Greg's car is a fucking beast. Good times my friends, good times. What really made it fun was Melissa being there. I definitely love Melissa the most, she is the most fun person in the entire world. Just for the record, I like her for her, not for her hot body and/or dancer qualities...although those are a nice added bonus. I need to go to sleep, for I have to work in the morning. I'll leave you with this last piece of Hooters wisdom: "Don't suffer from stress- be a carrier."

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 12:54 AM