[Penny for my thought ]

[Saturday, October 25, 2003]

Blogger,
I got to leave work early today because it was slow. Jane came over and we watched Ten Things I Hate About You. I bit her nose. After she left, I ate some chinese food and watched Bulletproof Monk. It was a very good movie, except for the fact that since The Matrix every movie has had something about being "enlightened" and suddenly being able to walk on air and dodge bullets and do crazy flips and whatnot. That last sentence was way too long. I also finally got The Matrix Reloaded on DVD today. I'm going to watch it tomorrow. In the mean time, I'm going to bed. I'm very tired and it's past my bed time.

Eclipto Maniac (10:09:38 PM): jew
Eclipto Maniac signed off at 10:09:39 PM


---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 10:24 PM

Blogger,
One of these days I'm going to learn what not to do. Here's the shake down: after yesterday's epiphany, things went drama on me again. Last night I talked to Kerry. She told me she likes me again. I was really taken off guard with this one, especially because I had just begun to realize that I kind of liked her too. If I learned one thing from the whole Melissa ordeal, it's that all I've gotten from her was heartbreak and discomfort. Through it all, it was Kerry who was there for me, and she who encouraged me. When we broke up it wasn't because I stopped liking her. I guess because we're alot closer now than we were before I'm willing to have another go at it. The only thing stopping me is other people. First, I don't know what to say to Melissa. She's going to think I'm so shallow for moving on like this in less than a week. And secondly, what about Amy? Her and Kerry haven't been getting along too well lately, and I feel like I'm not as close to her as I used to be. I really hate to think that Kerry will become a wedge between us, and I'll have to choose between them. I just couldn't do that. I'm very confused about what to do right now. I hate the position I'm in. I'm not going to see either of them until Monday, which is probably for the better. I really don't know what I'm going to do about this. I need to just chill over the weekend. Tomorrow I'm working from 9:00-4:00, then going to the mall. Sunday I'm off, which is nice. I'm going to breakfast with Michele, and then Dan Enders and Danielle are coming over for the last BBQ of the season. Right now I need to go to sleep.I need to think about things a little more.

Mood: Confused.
Music: Incubus - Pardon Me.

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 9:44 PM

Blogger,
This morning I woke up. I decided I need to go somewhere with my life, rather than just sit here and mope. Today was the good schedule. I had two gym classes, and two tests which provided me with no homework. We're starting to read Poe in english. I'm excited. Poe is my favorite "famous" author. One of these days I'm seriously going to sit down, and finish writing my book. I vowed not to let anyone read it before it's done to avoid any kind of external influence on it; it is my own. I need to get a big book of blank pages and a calligraphy pen. A real one, not a marker. It will be beautiful. *sighs*

Mood: Happier.
Music: Saves The Day - Freakish.

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 5:43 PM

Blogger,
I wasn't a happy camper today. I was so tired this morning, and it was dark when I got on the school bus. Meghan wasn't on in the morning, so the trip sucked; my CD player died. Some dancer people came to our school to do a show for us today. I skipped half of first period to go talk to them and help set up and whatnot. I had to present my poster in chem too. The show was pretty good, they danced to "Beat It" and some other stuff. I missed half of second period because I went to talk to the dancers again. I didn't get lunch until like 1:00 which was complete crap. I was so hungry. I had such a bad headache all day, my hand hurts, my back is all tight because I left my window open AGAIN last night, my lips were hella chapped, and to top it all off, at lunch the stupid soda machine gave me the wrong freaking thing, and I cut my hand on the stupid thing trying to pull it out of the chute. I hate Burke. Drama was weird. We did this Cully-esque guided meditation led by Christine Attardo. Personally, I didn't like it. Michele didn't come pick me up until 5:00, and I definitely told her to get me at 4:00. She's so unreliable. I'm not staying after school anymore. I'm also quitting drama. I'm realizing that the only reason I did drama was because Melissa did it. Sad, but true. I'm so tired and dreary lately. I'm starting to wish that I had taken up my doctor's offer to get some prescription thing, because I am sitting on the floor. I'm going to bed. I fucking missed Smallville. Bah.

Mood: Stoned.
Music: The Juliana Theory - The Closest Thing

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 8:17 PM

Blogger,
I never want to take another SAT verbal again. That was by far the hardest english test I've ever taken. I was this close to changing my native language answer on the front from english to "other", seriously. The math was rediculously easy, but that verbal part killed me. I played Final Fantasy X when I got home, and I beat Seymour Flux and Sanctuary Keeper first try. Holler back, it was easy. Bahamut is the best Aeon ever. I'm kinda bored now. I was really set on hanging out with Amy today, but that didn't happen. My hand hurts still. I think I'm going to play some more Playstation and then watch One Tree Hill before I go to bed. Adios.
And now, your moment of sanity.

Deadly Evans: Me and my mom got into a little fun arguement today. She told me to go to hell, and I said: "IN SOVIET RUSSIA, THE HELL GOES TO YOU!!" You can only guess the strange looks i got.

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 7:38 PM

Blogger,
I've been in a rut lately, as Kerry put it. Today I did something new, I went to Meghans after school to hang out. We wtched Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It's her favorite movie too. We sat on the swings in Cedarcrest for a while too. The sky was beautiful tonight as the sun was setting. She's alot of fun, that girl. I don't think she realizes how cool she really is. So tomorrow I take the PSAT. I'm not nervous or excited or anything at all. I really don't care. I'm going to kick it's ass and thats all there is to it.

Mood: Happier.
Music: Matchbook Romance - Wish I Could Leave.

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 8:55 PM

Blogger,
So last night Melissa IMed me and asked me what was up with me lately. I told her the truth, that I'm madly in love with her, and as expected I got the "I don't want to ruin our friendship" excuse. It seems that I'm forever the friend, and never anything more. It really hurt that this is how it's going to be, but theres really nothing I can do about it. I just wish things were different sometimes, I really do. So I'm just going to wallow for a while.

Mood: Depressed.
Music: Good Charlotte - Change

---Me
[Posted by Stephen] at 9:08 AM